Modest Dress: A Tough Choice

Modest Dress-the boys still noticeModest dress is a term that shows up often in conversations between teen girls and their parents. They never seem able to agree on what it means or how it applies to the teens’ clothing choices.

Dilemma in the Clothing Store

Mia stepped out of the dressing room to look at herself in the mirror. This outfit was way cool. She would make sure to walk down the hall where the jocks hung out. No doubt, Logan would notice.

She peeked over her shoulder to check the back. The skirt was on the edge of what Mom and Dad called modest dress, but the neckline was good as long as she stood up straight. She leaned over. Her heart sank. She should not buy this. If she forgot and bent down to pick up her backpack, everyone would see down to her navel.

She looked at herself again. She wanted Logan to ask her to the homecoming dance. Oh, what should she do?  It was easier when Mom went shopping with her and nixed some of her choices. She ended up with clothes that made her parents happy. And, they were usually cute, too. At least, she didn’t have to worry about “using good judgment” and what modest dress meant.

Mia sighed and headed back out front to look for something else. Although the outfit she’d just tried on might turn Logan’s head, was it really the way she wanted to catch his attention? Part of her said yes, but then she remembered all she’d been taught. She glanced to the front of the store. There was one rack she’d missed. Maybe she’d find something that would get his attention without displaying everything.

Teens, Parents, and Modest Dress

Mia was struggling. Her parents spent fifteen years teaching her that her body is the temple of God and should be treated with respect. In the last three years, they had pressed hard as they taught her the sanctity of marriage and how flaunting her body to strangers devalued her future marriage and stole from a husband what should be his alone. She knew her parents were right. But she was drawn by the culture to follow fashion trends and look sexy for those guys standing in the hallway.

Parents spend the first fourteen to fifteen years teaching their children what’s right. Then when their kids are in high school, they have freedom to make choices contrary to their parents’ lessons. (It is not unusual for girls to stash clothing at a friend’s house, so they can change before they go to school.) It is for that reason that the role of parents of teens evolves into one of a consultant.

Be a Consultant Parent

Mia’s question, “What should I do?” indicates that she could use some guidance choosing an outfit. It is up to a parent to be a good listener who does not react negatively to an emotional teen. Then daughters like Mia can come to their moms and say, “I can’t find anything that will make the guys notice me in a good way. Can we go shopping? I want you to help me find an outfit that meets your “modest dress” criteria.

Question: Have you found places to buy teen clothes that are modest and cute? Please share, and let’s support those stores.

 

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