God’s Word says, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12). If we are divorced, we can’t just ignore that commandment because we don’t like the father or mother of our children. There are three things we can do to make divorce easier for the children.
Three Guidelines for Talking about the Other Parent
- Never criticize or allow others to criticize the absent parent in the presence of the children. (For our own mental health, it is best not to criticize him or her at any time.)
- Help the other parent look good to the children. If Dad is planning to pick them up to go to the mall at 3:00 p.m. and is still not there at 4:00 p.m., explain that sometimes emergencies prevent people from keeping an appointment. This will give him a chance to explain to them what happened.
- What if the absent parent really is irresponsible and dishonorable? The Bible says to honor your parents. It doesn’t say to honor them only if they are deserving of honor. It’s a great relief to children to be told to honor their parents without having to judge whether they’re worthy of honor.
Everyone Benefits from Honoring Words
As you teach your children to honor their absent parent, you not only will be doing what is best for them, you will be taking a first step toward your own healing.
Questions:
Do you find it difficult to speak soft words about your ex-spouse? How have you managed to temper your words for the sake of the children? Are you a child of divorce who has experienced hearing hurtful words about the absent parent? What would you say to the divorced parents who are reading this post?
January 27, 2012
Blog, Tough Issues